DSO Empire Simulator — Credits & Corporate Disclosures

Executive Leadership

Founder, Chairman & Chief Rollup Officer GoodTimePete
Vision, Jokes, and Questionable Business InstinctsGoodTimePete
Head of Engineering (AI Copilot)Claude, Anthropic
Head of Nothing In Particularthe office coffee machine (still broken)
Chief Compliance Officera stack of forms nobody reads
Regional VP, SynergyTBD after next round

Board of Advisors

Every dentist who ever said "I should franchise this"honorary
Every hygienist keeping the whole operation runningactually essential
Private equity, conceptuallyjust vibes
The dental drillreserved for one (1) achievement, see below

Music & Sound

"Casino" — toucanmusicmain game background music
"Halloween" — tatamusicSmile Empire: Fright Night background music
Sound effectssynthesized in-house, no samples harmed

Both tracks via Pixabay (Halloween track page), used under the Pixabay Content License.

Special Thanks

To everyone in the dental industry actually doing the work this game gently makes fun of — the DSO operators, practice owners, office managers, and hygienists who keep real chairs full while this one just makes numbers go up.

No real practices were rolled up, no real EBITDA was adjusted, and no real drills were used in the making of this game. Well — one was. You know the one.

Explore the Empire

GoodTimePete's actual, real, non-satirical corner of the internet:

A Word From Legal

(this tooth is not legal counsel, but it has opinions)

🦷

it's just sitting there. weird.

✓ Secret filing located.

CONFIDENTIAL — INVESTOR MEMO (DRAFT 14, FINAL, FINAL v2)

To Whom It May Concern (probably nobody, this is a video game):

This game began as a slide in an internal deck that got a little out of hand. GoodTimePete wanted a fun way to explain what actually happens inside a dental DSO roll-up — the acquisitions, the "synergies," the EBITDA adjustments that are 60% real and 40% aspirational — without putting anyone to sleep with an actual slide deck.

So instead: a satirical idle game about your dental empire, built by an AI, for an audience of dentists, hygienists, DSO operators, and anyone who has ever sat through a private-equity pitch and thought "this would make a weirdly good game."

If you found this, congratulations — you now know more about this game's origin story than 99% of the people clicking "BILL A PATIENT." Go forth and adjust some EBITDA.

— GoodTimePete, probably from a golf cart

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DSO Empire Simulator is satire. Any resemblance to a real dental support organization, living or acquired, is purely coincidental (and honestly, a little bit the point).